I woke this morning with an unusually clear mind and full of that rare feeling of possibility. My brain was buzzing with ideas, some really good ones at that. Even my body felt refreshed, rare for me since "not a morning person" doesn't even begin to cover my feelings on the subject. I thought to myself that this day must surely be blessed, destined for some unknown greatness. I wondered if someone thought it would be funny to slip me an espresso in my dreams because, hot damn, I was ready to greet this day with enthusiasm!
Then I saw the clock. 3:17. What the hell?
Is this some sort of cosmic funny at my expense? I spent the next hour or so flopping around trying to find that sweet spot that would lull me back to sleep but it had already gone for the day. I tried some deep breathing, but the cats heard my stirring and started scratching at the door thinking it was their lucky day, "early breakfast today, yippie!". At some point I woke my hubby who wasnt exactly sympathetic since hes all stressed about his big job interview today. No snuggling me back to dreamland seemed likely I guess.
Check the clock. 4:55. Erg.
Half an hour more and I'm sick of laying there. With considerably less gusto, I rose to greet the day. Unfortunately, now that my body is up, I feel the stiffness from yesterdays workout. And all those great ideas? Lost forever to that hazy place in time that is 3:00 am. All possibility and unknown greatness left in the dreamy haze of a forgotten nights sleep. Damn it. Poor lovely day, this is not how I wanted to greet you. We had such great plans!
A cup of tea and a little yoga later and the day seems salvagable. My first instinct was to pull up my email and start making the days lists. But my little blog seemed to tug at me. My body isnt made to think clearly before dawn but I had an epiphany of sorts about this whole blogging thing. I'm having so much trouble with the whole darn routine and responsibility of a blog.
I'm an artist. Routine and responsiblity..not really my thing.
Then I thought, why does it have to be routine? Or a responsibility for that matter? I've treated the experience of blogging like a part of my business, and the business part of my business is, to put it mildly, not my favorite. I've basically taken something that I should enjoy (read: talking about myself) and made it into this thing with walls and perimeters. One post a day, lots of pictures, be nice, not too personal. What the hell? That's not me at all!
As of now, I am saying hello to my NEW BLOG. Posts when they come to me, maybe three a day or three a month, but never forced from me because of some notion of how I should be blogging. Pictures often, but not required, sometimes words are all I have. I cant promise to always be nice, sometimes I swear and mix metaphors. I can promise to be authentic and probably a little kooky. Not to personal? Why the hell not? We need more daringly personal stories in this world. So, long rant short...Hello blog. Nice to meet you. We should get along nicely.
